Al Zarzour says he’s been in the auto business since 1972. Gee, that’s right around the time the American auto industry started to go into decline. Zarzour says that under the bailout, his dealer was closed along with many others. What he doesn’t say is that if there hadn’t been a bailout, the dealers would have closed anyway because GM would have gone out of business. Zarzour also fails to mention that closing dealers were given incentives to throw a blow-out closing sale. The commercial makes it sound like poor Al lost everything and is now barely hanging on, and that it‘s all President Obama’s fault. What a sob story! That of course is not the case, and our crack research team has determined that Zarzour has no one to blame for his dealership’s demise than himself.
According to the Romney commercial, Al Zarzour lives in the suburb directly to our East. This "loyal" American owned a Nissan dealership back in the 70s. Know what Nissan did during World War II? Built military trucks and the engines for the Japanese planes that were used to bomb our sailors during World War II! Nissan was not exactly pleased with the way Zarzour ran his showroom which was reportedly sloppy and poorly stocked, with sales figures that reflected that. Zarzour’s Japanese masters gave him an ultimatum: Shape up or lose the franchise. Zarzour “saved face” by selling his Nissan franchise and opening a Chevy dealership in Chardon. Remember this was back in the days when GM was building crap vehicles, so that doesn’t say much for Zarzour’s ability to pick a winner. But he was certainly able to hedge his bet by hiring his wife, son and son-in-law to work in the dealership with him. In the business this is known as “feathering your own nest.” The problem is, how do you fire your own family if they’re not delivering? In time, Zarzour’s franchise had the reputation as one of the worst underperformers in GM’s Ohio network. Then the economy collapsed, and GM and Chrysler started taking on water. In 2009 Obama’s people showed up and saved the day. Most of the dealers who closed sold Hummers, Saturns or Pontiacs, which were all discontinued. Zarzour was a Chevy dealer, one of the few to close. Zarzour is probably as pissed at GM as he is at Obama.
By the way, I gotta say, GM has really cleaned up their act. I recently bought a Chevy Cruze and I just love it. Great mileage, runs like a top and the build quality is far and above what my old Oldsmobile had.
Oh, and what’s Zarzour doing now? He ain’t hurting, folks. He’s general manager of a Mitsubishi dealership. Anyone wanna guess what Mitsubishi was doing during World War II? Al Zarzour sure has an odd way of showing loyalty for his country, which makes him our DOUCHEBAG OF THE MONTH!
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