Douchebag of the month: John Ellis Bush

The Bush family keeps rearing their ugly inbred heads. George W. Bush has been out of office four years, and the country is still digging itself out of the mess he made. Dubya’s kid is a “reporter” for the Today Show despite her utter lack of qualifications for the job. Desperate Republicans are even talking up John Ellis Bush aka Jeb as a presidential candidate in 2016.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice…we’re screwed.

And in December, George H. W. Bush suffered a prolonged illness that wound him up in the ICU.

Now there’s a report that the e-mail accounts of several Bush family members were hacked. Isn’t it hilarious that members of our moneyed elite are using AOL accounts? You can view family photos, which are as boring as any family’s. You can see Dubya’s atrocious paintings where he documents his obsession with painting self-portraits in the bathroom.

The hack reveals that both Dubya and Jeb were not happy about the idea that Bill Clinton might give a eulogy at GHWB’s funeral. Jeb Bush saluted his ailing father’s “kindness and good nature” and pointed to “how kind he was with President Clinton and he helped restore his sordid reputation. A very tough thing to do but with kindness, dad probably helped Bill Clinton than anything he himself has done.”

Excuse me, Jeb? Ever hear of the Clinton Foundation, which has done so much to improve the lives of so many? What’s Poppy been doing since he was tossed from office in 1992? Skydiving and promoting his sons’ political careers. The only time GHWB has done any charity work is when Clinton has pushed him into it.

Clinton spent much of his eight years in office working to undo the damage Reagan and Bush did. Remember how great things were in the 90s? Budget surplus, low unemployment, strong growth, falling crime rates. Average Americans don’t need a reminder of all Clinton did for our country, and how Dubya screwed it up. That’s why Clinton is received like a rock star wherever he goes, while the Bushes go slouching away toward Kennebunkport.

But the sore losers need to keep harping about Monicagate as if that was the only noteworthy event in Clinton’s presidency. People like Jeb Bush are obsessed about blow jobs, which shows you where their minds are. At least Poppy Bush has had to class to not bash Clinton in public. In fact, their friendly relationship has led some to jokingly refer to Bush as Clinton’s surrogate father. (Clinton’s real father died three months after Clinton was born.) The elder Bush’s affection for Clinton must make Jeb and Dubya jealous. Maybe that’s why Jeb obsesses about Clinton’s “sordid” behavior.

But just how sordid was Clinton’s behavior? Is it unprecedented among our Presidents? Hardly. In fact, if you want to learn more of sordid behavior, you need only look as far as Clinton’s predecessor, Poppy himself. Ever hear of Jennifer Fitzgerald? Probably not, because while the media in 1992 was obsessing about Jennifer Flowers, they were looking the other way despite Bush’s well known years long affair with his assistant: Jennifer Fitzgerald. Only one channel, CNN dared investigate it, and was rebuffed as pushing sleaze.

Whatever you think of Bill Clinton’s private behavior, or that of any of the Bushes, remember that Clinton never lied the country into a war that cost 4,487 American lives!